An open letter to the bartender who “served” me last night.

Dear Bartender, ( I use this term loosely),

I would like to draw your attention to the incident last night when polite company and manners prevented me from dressing you down publicly as would have befitted the occasion.

When I ordered a Mojito from you, I had a basic level of expectation as to what I was going to get. After all a Mojito is not a vague guideline, but a specific recipe.

I was not expecting a tall hurricane glass with three large ice cubes floating around the top, a withered piece of mint drowning in a solution of 90% cane rum, topped up with a splash of still water…

However, everyone can make a mistake and it’s not about the mistake, but how you handle it that will cement my impression of you. Alas, this opportunity was wasted on you when I asked for a replacement.

Telling me that you have done this for years and know how to make a Mojito did nothing to improve the flavor of the poor excuse for a cocktail I was trying to return to you and will certainly not endear yourself to me. Asking two other customers at the bar if their Mojitos were the yummiest they had ever tasted in a clear attempt at embarrassing me in front of my friends and your customers for returning your “masterpiece” makes you look foolish and even more incompetent.

While wisdom normally comes with age, clearly the years that have contributed to your greying hair were years spent avoiding education and skill. Here’s hoping the years between grey hair and white hair will be more educational.

Unfortunately I won’t be back to sample your skills whatever your hair color, because you had your chance and blew it. Big time.

Sincerely,

4 customers who are going elsewhere tomorrow

I went out on Saturday night for a few beers (Strongbow Cider and Schneider Weiss, if you must know…) and watching the bartender reminded me why there is no place for Ego in business. Certainly not if you’re a bartender.

Before you construe this as an attack on the noble profession, nothing could be further from the truth. Having spent many years behind the bar, I consider no profession more respectable and I believe that a great bartender can make your bar.

On the other hand, a bad bartender can break your bar. A stuck up blond bartender with an ego and an attitude can be devastating. That is what I had the “pleasure” of experiencing on Friday.

When a guy who is clearly out for a good night out with his friends approaches the bar and politely asks the bartender for four shots of whatever she recommends, this is an opportunity for the bartender to make some money for the bar and herself, and if she’s clever, will extract a lot more revenue during the night than that one round.

On the other hand, looking down your nose and shrugging your shoulders saying that “I don’t know what you like…” before turning on her heels is the very antithesis of what bartending is about.

Was it because the customer and his friends were dressed more like Napolean Dynamite than Zac Effron? Should it matter?

I wasn’t the only disgusted customer. Many more shook their heads in disbelief and the customer retreated in defeat to find another bartender.

To the bar owner, get rid of her. Get rid of any poison that infects your business. If you feel that you need that kind of service to make your bar work, then maybe you need to lose the ego yourself.

The cast of Mean Girls called. They’re missing a bi**ch….You should let them have her back. As a customer, I don’t want her serving me and as a bar owner you can’t afford to keep her around for long.